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Sunday, April 05, 2009

argh argh argh argh argh~
just feel so not right now...
mood when really down down down down down...
deep deep down...
ask mii why???wat happen??
I DUN NOE!!!i wan to noe too~
just something when WRONG to mii...
maybe is cos wat daddy say just now.
yah,i think alot.even he didn't say it v detail.
i'll somehow understand.

(there's one day,daddy wanna tell mii about mummy past and how i came.
okie not only tat day he wanna tell mii.
he's trying to tell mii when ever he think is e right time.
which is when my both sis is aslp.
but yah i always refuel to listen,i told him there's nth i wan to noe.
so dun need to say anythings. but true is i'm scare.for dun noe why.
i dun noe how to face it when i noe every thing.
yah,so wat if i really noe everything,is there any diff.
NO!!!i still dun get to see my real daddy or dun even tot of seeing him.
cos noone noe where's HIM.
and so wat if i found him.THEN!!!WAT!!!
and yah by law i got to follow him,cos he is my real daddy.
THEN,WAT...stay wif him!!!sorry but
i can't live wif someone tat i dun even noe even he is my real daddy but HE NV EVER DID wat a daddy should have do.
so yah,wat's e point of telling mii e whole story.
when there's NOT A NEED TO DO IT.
yah i know,i should noe my our story.but pls not now.i'm not yet ready for all this.)

i got so much to think now,
-wat to do next after my ITE course.
continue to study???but i really dun have e interest anymore.
so i dun wanna waste those money.
-if i dun continue to study wat can i go or what should do???work???i dun mind.
-if i dun continue to study i'll got to go back to malaysia???HOW???
tis's e BIG problem.cos i can't stay here long.
-i wish i hope i pray i could get a PR asap.as i noe tis is freacking hard for mii.

i just miss HIM soooooooooooooooooooooo mucccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccch...
thinking of him every min every sec.
*it really killing mii,do yOu noe?!
i gusee now,daddy still dislike yOu.
for real i really really dun understand why till now daddy is still like tat.
is soon to be a yr.2weekplus more.
yes,i keep track.cos is just so hard for mii not counting and keep counting.

i feel weak,when it night time.
i find it hard to control myself,my tears my emotion.
it will just flow down my eye.

how i wish mummy is still here.
listening to mii.
IMISSHER)':


Sign Off:06/04/09-1.55am.



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