Friday, September 29, 2006
erm 2day was e last day of lesson before my N lvl start on monday...we nv really study 2day we keep taking pic n chat chat in class...then after school when home bath le jiu when Mac at 3pm to study wif nydia n theng ong then till 4.40 ping hui soon kei johnson n anita came...i when join them at 6 when ying si came...afther tat we nv study we when K.F.C to eat then when 3o6 sit n chat chat...dun feel like going home so when ying si house take thing n when back to e place to chat again till 9.50 then i went home...hai tis few day really gt no mood to study...=(
im so sad...dun wish to leave e school so fast...i will miss all e ppl de..=( <3>
nvm..u all must JIA YOU!!!!4 ur 'N' or 'O' lvl...kkk JIA YOU!!!!!
about e thingy...
THENG ONG when ask him le..
ok 'he' say was wrong info...they was jux joking...
okie since he say he dun mean it then i will truth 'HIM'
tis is wat he told theng ong:
tell her i said it.. but it was joking... ITS IN A JOKING TONE
his friend say tat: it was really juz a casual chat between mii n him
his freind say tat he is jux teasing him...
ok i believe 'HIM'...
if he say he dun mean it i will believe wat he say...
argh....im crying again...hear tat becos of it he is sad now...n crying..
haiz...wat can i do...maybe i should say SORRY...
[erm im sorry...i dun know wat i can do now im oso v fann feeling v bad...feeling toopix feeling useless...arghhh...IM SORRY SORRY SORRY...i know i should believe u in e first place]
erm dun really have e mood to post le for e pic i will post tml...
ya...i really choose to BELIEVE 'HIM'...
THANKS TO THENG ONG...n YING SI...GOD BLESS U TWO...
thanks to ur word make my feel stronger now...=)
To melvin:dun hurt urself again kkk...must tc n study hard...JIA YOU!!!
n im going back to my sweetlaladreamland 2nite...
heehee...will continue my dream...=)
hoping 4 all e best!!!
GOD BLESS YOU...
im trying to be STRONG now...
hope tat i can???
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
12:50 PM
Thursday, September 28, 2006
ya everything really seem to come to an END...
my dream have really dashed...mi rite???
maybe theng ong n mel is going to ask 'him' tml...hope tat he will say e truth...
im LETING GO N LET GOD to tell mii wat to do...
[i wan to strong i must be strong i must nt CRY if it was really true...]
[im really trying to be strong now]
haiz im e one should be blame..feeling TOOPIX , HOPELESS , USELESS , HELPLESS now...
argh...i can't concentrate on my study now have being sleeping in class tis few days...
tml is e last day to c all my teacher le...after tml NO more lesson le 'N' lvl starting monday...
haiz feel so SAD to leave e school time really past very very fast...i really dun bear to leave e school , e teacher , my classmate n e place where i leant grow...i have spend my 4 year in S.S.S im really very happy to be in tis school...I <3 them...
[ying si,nydia,ping hui,mei li,wynny,soon kei,yao hui,melvin,theng ong, ppl in GB [all P3 ger <3 them most]n e BB,ppl in e councillor board n there is still alot...]
they bring mii alot of FUN , LAUGHTER n when im sad they will always be e one hu cheer mii up...THNAKS ALOT FRIEND!!!!will nv 4 get u all de...n all e best in ur monday 'N' lvl paper...
GOD BLESS...
having headache....argh!!!dun wish to post le...will post tml ba...=(
THANKS TO THENG ONG!!!!he really help mii alot....=)
praying hard...
hoping...nth will happen...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
11:04 AM
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
erm...ok im back from Mac went study again but nth seem to go in to my brain...my mood now was really down...haix... in school nth much happen...jux study n keep studying...
i cryed is school i dun know why maybe i think to much about e THINGS le...
i cry till i fall asleep in class...THANK my friend im fine now im ok...dun worry...
my 'N' lvl is in 5 days time dun wish to take my 'N' lvl argh...feeling hopeless now really
so hopeless...
[i wan to be strong but i jux can't stop my tears for rolling down]
i keep thinking of e thing they told mii...they know it long time ago but they jux dun wanna tell mii...ok i dun blame them by telling mii now...i know tat they wei wo hao so they dun wan mii to know...
then now i m here posting...ok...THENG ONG found out e know the truth le...after all it was true...argh!!!crying*again... WAS IT REALLY TRUE???
theng ong told mii to ask 'him' myself but i dun know how to ask....
everythink seem to come to an end...mi rite???
money can't buy TURE LOVE can't buy HAPPINESS...
even u say can tat was all nt TURE at all...
im like crying every day every nite in my bed thinking of wat should i do wat will happen next...
im really tired le...haix...maybe we jux dun have e fate ba...
DRYING...KILING MII really deep...
im really toopix...=(
i hate myself...
parying hard n hoping thing will change...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
11:00 PM
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
When a girl misses u, she's afraid to see how your new girl looks,
she's dreading the fact that ur not hers any more
When u break a girls heart,
she still feel sit when bumping heads 3 years later
When a girl just stares deep into your eyes,
she's HOPING that your hers and only hers
( it shows how much she cares: eyes never lie)
When a girl is quiet,millions of things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after afew seconds,she is not at all fine.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are so wonderful.
When a girl lays her head on your chest,she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a girl calls you everyday,she is seeking for your attention.
When a girl wants to see you everyday,she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says, "I'll love you forever, "she means it.
When a girl says that she can't live without you,she has made up her mind
that you are her future.
When a girl says, "I miss you, "no one in this world can miss you more than that Guy Facts:
When a guy calls u he wants to be with you
When a guy is quiet,He's listening to you...
When a guy is not arguing,He realizes he's wrong
When a guy says, "I'm fine, "after a few minutes,he means it
When a guy stares at you,he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do?
When you're laying your head on a guy's chest he has the world
When a guy calls you everyday he is in love
When a (good) guy say he loves you he means it
When a guy says he can't live without you he's with you till your done
When a guy says, "I miss you, "he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
ya...my ex told mii be4 dun believe any guy even he say:I LOVE YOU...I MISS YOU...I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU...
maybe he dun really mean it...
arghHhh..really dam fann now i realy dun know hu should i believe....
im trying to tell myself tat dun care wat other ppl say jux believe wat i see, wat i hear myself...
but i can't they keep tell mii e same thing...
n ppl always say 'he' can treat his ex like tat 'he' oso can treat u like tat..
im thinking should i ask 'him' myself...should i believe 'him'...???
im really tired of everything..."I WISH I COULD JUX SLEEP FOREVER"
now i think my dream will nv come true le...
erm okie...2day we have our last P.E in e first period it was fun...i play bball wif ping hui n eddie...2nd period was music but we have math instead of music...so we have 2 period of math...
then i saw li han so we chatted she told mii alot of thing...make mii feel so loss dun know hu to believe...haiz...=( almost cryed...
then after school when home bath le went Mac study wif Mr lim , ping hui , ying si n johnson...
till 7pm..then went home...
argh!!!so fann..THENG ONG oso know wat happen le..he oso dun know hu to believe...haiz
im scare...scared tat wat they say is true...wat if really true
then what should i do???
praying tat watever they say was nt true...
keeping my feeling for u ? makes me out of breath...
crying* arghhh!!! feel so loss...
how can save mii...
*crying*i feel really toopix...=(
GOD pls help mii ,tell mii wat to do...
praying hard...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
10:59 PM
erm ok...2day nth much happenin school...but gt photo taking...=)
after photo taking mii n ping hui nv go back class we walk around e school n take pic...haiz...
i FAIL my math paper...argh!!!
when Mac at 4pm to study wiif nydia , theng ong n johnson...then when home at 6.30pm....arghh!!! feel so fann...haiz... dun know wat to post le...
ok here is some pic i took 2day....
ping hui n mii!!!!=)
i feeling so USELESS i can't do anything 4 'him' when he need mii...
arghhhhh!!!!!....=( im SORRY!!!!
wat happen my tears started rolling down from my eye again...arghh!!!
i wish i can do somwthing 4 u..anything u wan mii to...but i jux can't=(
feeling sick now...=( feeling so cold...=P...n my hand still pain...=(
oOo..ya...now my blog gt password le...so u r luck if u r here..haahas...=)
hope my dream will come true...=)
gtgt le..off to my laladreamland...heehee..W!55 YoU...
DYING!!!PRAYING HARD now...GOD BLESS YOU...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
12:00 PM
Sunday, September 24, 2006
erm okie so tried now...slp at 2.45am then wake up at 7.50am cos gt work...hiaz...work for 8 hours tml...was tired 2day i when to open e shop at 8.50 only mii alone sian lo..always gt 2 ppl work de then 2day only mii...cos they say morning nt many ppl so i one ppl work jiu can le...=(
really sian lo nt 1 tok to then still have so many thing to do...then my boss come at 1.30pm...then i work tilll 5 jiu so home le...=)
dun know y my hand gt a cut..so pain..=(
wanna go out study de but ping hui say she gt thing to do,then nydia gt something on...so jiu nv go out le lo...sian nt gt nth to do...haiz feel so fann mi think too much???
arghh!!!
*ya!!!here is some pic i took ytd=)
heehee..i look so toopix...=P...my faithful love will be with him, and through my name his horn will be exalted.
i will set his hand over the sea, his right hand over the rivers.
he will call out to me, 'you are my father, my God, the Rock my Savior.'
i will maintian my love to him forever, and my covenant with him will never fail.
from
PSALM 89:24-28
Praying tat my dream will come true...
GOD BLESS YOU...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
11:00 PM
erm ok..when Mac at 3.30 to study wif ping hui...i finish doing 1 of my math paper1&2...still left wif 2 paper...haix got no time to do le tml working in e morning till dun know wat time...arghh!!!
then 6.50 when to e roof top at 431 but was Out-Of-Bound so when to e inchage to wait 4 ying si...they pei mii walk home then they sit at 306 talk talk...i when home then go out again,i call si she say they at carpark so when find them...we chated n oso took pic we wanan c star de but dun have...sit there till 9 then i when home...oOo ya i tot will rain but nv..=(
saw 'him' jux now at Mac...dun know why
or wat happen my tears started rolling down from my eye...
arghh!!!feel so toopix lo...
i told myself i must be strong...
but i jux can't stop my tears 4 rolling down...
Theng ong jux told 'him' wat happen...
arghh i started crying again...
haiz....why im really USELESS arghh!!!!!
im scare now...feeling so loss!!!!
wat can i do now???
i still haven tok to my papa since ytd
c him make my feel like leaving...haiz...
THNAKS alot to THENG ONG...=)
GOD BLESS YOU...
i cant tell u the answer Now cos iM NOt sure of it...
sorry...i really need more time...
n father oso dont allow mii to get into a relationship
cos he dun think tat im ready...
im sorry too cos i didnt tell u my difficulties...
hope tat u will understand...
gtg le tml have to wake up early...nite nite... (hope i won't cry in my bed again)
tc...GOD BLESS!!!
i wish i can dissappeared now...=(
GOD pls give mii e courage to live on....
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
2:20 AM
Saturday, September 23, 2006
erm okie..ytd did nt post...after work when home bath hao le wanna to post de..then my papa come home then start askng mii thing then i told him ALL e TURE all thing he ask...but he still dun believe mii...he start to ask his friend and wat his friend say was diffrent from my...wat is tis!!!! he believe wat they say...then keep saying im lying...okie fine since u dun believe then wat 4 asking mii...tis is nt e first time le...i keep saying we r really nth but jux friend...but then he dun seem to believe mii...he wanted to slap n beat mii de but my grandma stop him...im thinking y dun she let him beat or even kill mii...i really can't take it le...since he wanna beat mii let him beat lo must as well kill mii...WHY DUN U ALL JUX LET MII DIE...
my mood now is dam low...crying since late nite...=(
then now my eye tis dam swollen haiz...toopix!!!
theng ong told mii tat i should tell 'him' wat happen between mii n my papa...
but..haiz..how should i tell 'him'...
i dun dare to tell 'him' i dun have e courage to...
maybe we jux dun have to fate to be 2gether ba...
i wan to be strong but i can't stop myself 4 crying...
good tat is raning soon...have being a long time i nv walk in e rain le...
so i will be going out later no matter wat...
rmb tis everything really comes with a price...
how i wish i can leave tis place...
THANKS to Theng ong he help mi alot...n sorry 4 giving u all e problem tat is nth to do wif u...
tis is wat he told mii:
consider it pure joy,my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds.because you know that the testing of faith develops preseverance.Perservence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything.
James 1 :2-4
i wish i can dissappeared now...
arghhhhhh!!!!DYING...
GOD pls give mii e courage to live on!!!
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
2:05 PM
Friday, September 22, 2006
erm sian going off to work in 1 hours time...so will post to nite when i come back....
BYE BYE!!!! tc...=p
u dun understand mii at all...=(
feeling so toopix now...
think: should i belive u or not...
im scared!!!=(
asking myself: dun i still luv HIM??
maybe i jux can't let go e promise we made...
arghh!!!HATE MYSELF...
can u jux let mii die now...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"...
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
3:38 PM
Thursday, September 21, 2006
okie...im back from Mac...when study wif si , ping hui n li rong(sec5)...my mood was nt really right jux now...cos of wat happen be4 i when out to study...haiz...4get it dun wish to say wat really happen...
erm ok...then after study at about 6 we when 4 dinner...then to soon kei house to c his dog n take thing...we leave his house at about 7.30 cos his sis come back le so we scared his sis will scold then jiu faster say we wan go home le...hahas...=)
sian im now here posting...im really fann...haix...but really wan to thanks to THENG ONG... he always chat wif mii when i face problem...n sometime he oso tell mii wat should i do...=)thanks...
u oso must jia you...in ur 'O' lvl...=) all e best!!!
dun u think SORRY can mean everythink...
u hurtz mii alot dun u know...
n nt tat u even hurt e ppl around mii...
we make a promise...n i hold e promise till now...
ok..maybe u have 4gt e promise...
but i nv...i waited 4 u till now...i can't take it le...
u have being lying to mii...
i TRUSTed u so much tat i help u in everythink u wan my to do...
even i don't wish to i will still force myself to help u...
DUN U KNOW tat???
now u came to say sorry to mii wat 4...
n asked mii tis :will u patch wif mii if i ask u 4...
maybe in my heart my ans is a YES ...but i will still say NO...
i really dun know how to belive in u again...
maybe we jux dun have e FAITH ba...
im trying hard to 4gt 'HIM'...
4get e 3 yr promise...tat he say to mii...
can i do it...=(
im really loss now...
hu can save mii...
GOD pls give mii e courage to to live on!!!
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
11:56 PM
erm..okie wat happen haiz...2day got back 3 paper E.O.A , science & engilsh...arghh toopix!!!
my E.O.A paper my marks was SO SCUK lo...i gt like 48/100...OMG...then i tot i fail my paper 1 le...but after tat teacher say she mark wrong so i was add 2 mark...then i pass it by e 2 mark...
but im still nt happy wif it...argh....i dun wan onli jux pass i wan more tat jux a pass...haven take back paper 2 so still dun know overall got pass anot...haix..but i dun think i will pass la...
F0r my science even worse i got 38.6/100...tis is e 2nd paper i FAIL...oOo No!!!how mi going to take my 'N' lvl...wif tis kind of results....
okie my english is better i got a C5...but my teacher say i can do better if i wan to...
now im jux waiting 4 my math results...but i think oso fail de la...hiaz...
if i really fail im really a TOOPIX USELESS person...
have being studying so much 4 math but end up i FAIL...arghh...
haix then wat's e point to study, study le oso FAIL...
nothing can go into my brain lo...
haix...now we left wif like 1 more week to our 'N' lvl...OMG!!! gone case le la...toopix la!!!!
why mi i so TOOPIX!!!! n USELESS!!! ????
arghh...im so hopeless now...
now every1 is like really got no mood to study...after knowing e results...
every1 feel so down now...
hu can tell mii wat to do now...
GOD pls save mii...
i wish i can dissappeared now...
i really mean it...
'her' word really hurt...
n is true tat she dun wan mii to know...
wat happen...but end up i found out...
but i dun think she know tat i know le...
so 4get it...dun wish to talk about it le...
im trying to let go of eveything...
'her' every word really hurt mii alot...
okie i know tat she is a person tat v straight forward...
so as a friend i really dun know how to confess my feeling to 'her'...
i dun wanna to loss a friend like tat....
im really loss...=(
erm..i will stop here le..ya 2day nt going to work told my boss i have to study...
so im going Mac to study le...will post 2nite if can...
feelling really loss...=(
Bye bye!!! tc...
arghhhhhh!!!!
KILLING mii...
GOD pls give mii e courage to live on!!!
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
3:15 PM
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
i agree with theng ong...=)YA!!! i believe in Jesus. I believe he is the Son Of God.I believe He Die and Rose again.I believe in Him.I believe in Jesus.YES i believe in HIM....
haha...ya really had a heart to heart talk with theng ong just now hehee...n he oso told mii all about his story...=)theng ong stop slacking and go do some revising 4 urs A maths...hahas...
dun care "him" la he is SO TOOPIX!!!!5 ppl call many mah...siao de..."he" is scared or wat... hahas...cos of "him" all quarell..."bloody hell" hahas tis wat u say...=) dun becos of him nt happy...cheer up=)....
arghh....sian...maybe tml working..haix...=(
arghh....
hate wat is happening now...
how i wish i could dissappeared...
toopix!!!!
KILLING mii...
GOD pls give mii e courage to live on!!!=(
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
11:00 PM
ytd did nt post was feeling sick so nv even online...haix...
ytday wake up at 7 cos of ying si call..she say till very improtant so my sis wake mii up...
then she ask mii go down say wan pass mii things...so i when down...then haiz...saw her n wei sheng n melvin...okie they came n pass mii thing then ask mii go home then can c...so i when home n open...OMG!!!
was a letter n a gife from precious thots...
ok i know is from hu le...
aiyo...it was really a surprise...
as wat theng ong say...
haiz...after reading e letter i feel really bad...
n sorry...im loss of word...
now i dun know how to face him...
toopix!!!
then i kanna kp by my papa again...haiz..toopix lo...keep kp mii...
like every i wrong like tat...TOOPIX!!!!
ok 2day take back C.P.A paper 1 n 2 arghh i FAILL...=(
now have to c my paper 3 le if i faill then overall jiu faill le...haiz
sian..got nth to do...feeling so useless now...
im SMILES everyday....
im LAUGHS everyday...
nobody knows how I really feels...
if some thinkg are better to left unsaid ,
then maybe should better left it unsaid...
but some thinks tat are to be said,
then it should better be said....
if nt u will regret by saying/unsaying it...
arghh...toopix...
so many thinks going on now...
is KILLING mii....
n mi dying...
haiz...gtg le..will post tonite if i got e time to...
GOD pls give mii e courage to live on!!!=(
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
6:00 PM
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
erm..ok im back from school...was sleeppyy now=X...i really nv slp i online n tok on e phone till 4.30 when bath then went to meet ping hui li rong n sam at Mac...wOow...my eye can't even c thing clearly n feeling HEADACHE tOo...
haix...must so slp le...if nt i will really DIE....
oFF to my laladream land...
will be back to nite....=)
* Theng ong - must study hor...after u wake up..hahas..u can make it de u r nt TOOPIX=)...
all e best 4 ur papaer...GOD BLESS...=)
dying....
killing mii inside...
arghhh!!!
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
12:55 PM
haiz...OMG!!!now is like 3am le im still here posting....tml still gt exam...im tried but jux can't slp...HEADACHE now...eye oso pain...toopix!!!
jux now work till nv eat...then wanna to eat de but feel like vomiting so nv eat...
sian...dun think im slping le...if slp onli 3 hours then later can't wake up...
so dun slp lo better...=) then meeting ping hui 5.30am at Mac...
haix...staring into space,wif a blank mind ,nth going through my head....
feeling so empty ,really so empty....
thinking of thing tat will nv happen...
im dreaming again...haiz...
toopix!!!...wake up la...
haiz..if can i hope i can slp 4ever n nv wake up...
my brain going to burst le...
so pain!!!=(
my eye wan to close le...
but can't jux onli 2 more hours to go...
must tahan...
killing mii inside...
arghhh!!!
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
3:05 AM
Monday, September 18, 2006
erm here to post be4 i go to work....sian tml still got math paper 2 but still gt to work=(
my 2day paper fail le la...haiz...sian...study oso fail nv study oso fail...toopix!!!
my mood is nt right now..feeling funny...n tried...=(
haix did i make things worse???
mi think too much???
toopix!!! im really toopix!!!
n HOPELESS!!!!
mi SORRY...4 wat happen...
maybe im really making things worse...
erm ok..will have to stop here le...OFF to WORK....
GOD BLESS...
really HATE myself...
arghhhh!!!!toopix!!!
i wish i really didnt exist...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
5:30 PM
Sunday, September 17, 2006
erm wake up at 1++ i think...so tired lo cos last nite slp at 2.30...aiyo tis few day i always slp till 1 or 2++...my mum say i like PIG always slp till so late...=P...then at nite dun wan to slp keep watching VDC....hehee..
jux now when Mac to study wif mel, johnson n si...nt really study la we go there eat talk talk then go walk walk at sp...then jiu go hm le...
sian tml having science n C.P.A paper...i still haven evern study...toopix!!!
arghhh...tml still gt to work cos my boss have to bring her dogs for operation so she say no ppl work so i work lo....toopix!!!...
haix no in e rite mood now...
feeling so toopix n funny...
mi think too much or wat...
those thing tat i dun wanna to happen jux happen...
haizyo...haven eat dinner dun feel like eating anythink but CHOCOLATE...
hate how i feel now...
arghhhh!!!!toopix!!!
i wish i didnt exist...
Jesus say: Iam the light of the world.whoever follows me will never walk in the darkness ,but will have the lisht of life.
John 8:12
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
10:00 PM
Saturday, September 16, 2006
erm nth much happen today i wake up at 12++ i think...cos last nite slp at 4.30...was tried now...
when study with melvin n nydia at Mac.Then theng ong came to meet us at 4+++ then we when to watch movie(SNAKES ON THE PLANE)is a nice movie...n snakes are really horrible n
disgusting can even swallow a human=X...eeeEEeee..
*Nydia-she dun wanna go watch de then she was forced to...sorry!!!
read tis in ying si blog n found it really true...
no one can turn back n make brand new endind/start . u cant make someone love u either . all u can do is be someone who can be loved . in our life there r veri rare chance tat will meet the person u love and love u return . so once u have it don ever let go . the chance may nv come back again . so pls treasuren make a wise deicision ...
i wish u would disappear or rather i could....
i wish u never waked into my life...
hope tat everything can get over e past...
hope tat u can 4get mii too...i can't accept u...
(time can change thing maybe my mind will change too)
i gt my reason hope u can understand...
i may regret...but i dun wanna c her like tat...
but i will still treasure u as a friend a brother in chirst...
killing mii inside...
really HATE myself....=(
hate how i feel now...
arghhhh!!!!toopix!!!
i wish i didnt exist...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
10:50 PM
hais..jux came back from work was really tried...bath hao le then went online...haiz...
my math paper faill le la...was hard lo didi nt do alot of qns..i tot e E.O.A paper is even hard but i think was better then my math paper...aiyo...
feeling bad!!!now..after knowing somthing...
is all my fault...im e third party....
im always e third party...toopix!!!!
hate myself...why mi always e 1...
feel really bad...n feel so sorry...
u told mii to accept him n told mii he's gd...
ya i know he's is gd but im nt gd...
n i really dun think we should be tgt...
n i undersatnd how u feel now...
u told mii tat u r fine...but i don't think u r...
cos i experience it be4
is really very hard to forgot about some
things tat happen so happy but end up like tis...
at first i really dun know how to face u...when i know it...
i was really scared...scared tat i will loss a friend..
scared tat u will hate mii..scared tat u will know...
im oso scared to start on a new relationshIps...
i think i still need more time ba...
maybe i still can't 4 get " him"...like u...
haix...=(
i really dun know wat to say...
hope tat everything can get over e past...
killing mii inside...
HATE myself....
hate how i feel now...
arghhhh!!!!
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
2:45 PM
Thursday, September 14, 2006
im praying hard...i really dun know wat to do...
wat ever i do oso seem wrong...hai wat he wan...
he keep kp mii...feel so toopix n useless...=(
wanna to study for tml paper but nth get into my mind toopix!!!
arghhh!!!!
*crying now...
do u know those word hurt alot...i hate it...
i really hate how i feel now...toopix!!!
(pour out to the Lord he will unburden your heart..
tis is wat theng ong told mii...he is a good listener...
ya tml is his bDay...so wanna say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him...=)
all e best!!!GOD BLESS YOU...
gtg le... going to do revision le...hope i can 4get wat happen 2day n ytd...n get over e past...
killing mii inside...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
9:30 PM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
erm today gt no paper...but tml have POA paper is a 'N' lvl paper....haix...
in school nth much happen...my class onli have 12 ppl...ying si class oso have like 12-14 ppl...
OMG..'N' lvl come in like 3 more week but my class ppl like dun care like tat....aiyo...
friday having my math prelims i haven even study...hais...
arghh i really gt like nt mood to study anything loh...toopix...
haix..some time i jux can't take it...my papa always wan mii to do wat he say...
n sometime his word hurt mii alot...haix...so wat he is my papa...
i really dun know wat i wan...
feeling like confused...
arghh TOOPIX!!!
hate how i feel now...
gtg le...watching tv...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
9:10 PM
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
haiz..sian...nth to do...2day paper was easy i think...=)
but scared i print wrong...=X
toopix when hm after my paper...i was so tried so i when to slp lo..
wake up then watch tv...then my papa jiu start kp mii say :ytd why i slp so late then still gt eaxm....blahblahblah....toopix lo!!! i where gt slp late onli 2+++ wat...say i keep watching VCD n useing e laptop nv study...aiya wat ever la...i gt study lo is jus tat u dun know...
really so pissed now....my papa so wat...wat every i do he oso kp...toopix!!!!
haiz so sian...n oso gt no mood to post le...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
10:54 PM
jux reach hm from work...bath hao le wanna chat online de...but e toopix messenger jux can't sign in..toopix!!!!
tml having my "N" lvl paper for CPA...so no need to go school so early...jux tat must reach school before 8.45...haix...
erm..ok..ya..miss jia ying n her group of member is going off 2day for mission trip...all e best to them...tc..=)
then chatted wif he on e phone jux now....
haix he is leaving in 4 hours time...
erm he asked mii :will i miss him???
hahas...i say erm dun think so...hehee...
dut i think i will la...=(
he jux now sound sick...=(
aiyo...he always say i nv tc of myself he oso...
i will pray for him n e group of them...=)
GOD BLESS them...
kkk..i should go slp le tml still gt paper....nite nite...
go to my dream lala land...wish i can c him there...=)
miss you...=)
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
2:20 AM
Sunday, September 10, 2006
=( having flu now...reach hm nt long...jux bath hao...feeling so cold now...
tml starting school liao...haiz so fast 1 week of holiday finish le...
sad tml still gt work...haiz...=(
i feel so down now dun know y...jux dun have e mood to do anything...
aiyo...wat mi thinking...haiz wake up la..."N"lvl is coming in 1month time stop dreaming n study hard there is no more time to waste...
feel so toopix n useless now...i really dun know wat i wan....
i wanna close my eyes, let the whole thing pass by me...
but i can't...wat u say keep appear in my mind...why???
i wanna to 4get wat u all r saying...but i can't...
haix...toopix...
so u can stay here wif mii...
dun go...=(
but anyway tc..all e best!!!
GOD BLESS YOU
dying inside...
crying inside...
really killing mii inside...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
2:05 AM
Saturday, September 09, 2006
jux wake up nt long cos mum wake mii up to drink e black black thing i think is herbal soup...=X
nt nice...=X..i dun wanna drink de mum say i look like going to be sick soon so much drink...she say is good......im a good ger lo...hahas..so i drink...
my leg very pain dun know y...=(
i still feel like sleeping...so tried....
then tml still gt to work...=(
Our memoriies are like falling stars they disappear beautifully but will never appeared again Though they are all over now It doesn't matter You are all my hearts want My heart beats for u,every second, every minute, even if it was only a dream; I'll wish for u...
gtg le..bb..tc ppl..
I MISS U!!!!
GOD BLESS YOU
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
11:04 PM
hmm...was tried now jux reach hm no long...when for cell group jux now onli have melissa nydia n mii jocelyn n cherie can nt come i think...then went 4 lunch at country manna....was dam full =X...hahas...but anyway thanks Miss jia ying 4 e treat...
then i oso went causeway wif nydia to take something...then come back to sembawang when Mac to study...
then now im here posting...haix..im think should i cut my hair anot??
scared i will regret cuting it...
im still think should i go for YC anot???
tis year YC got so many diff ppl going...
all i know de but nt v close...if go le oso sian...
all e best to miss jia ying n her groun of member hu is going for e mission trip tis coming tue day...will miss u de my mum(miss jia ying) hahas...n will nt be able to c her for 2 or 3 week =( so there will oso be no cell group for e next 2 or 3 week...=(
GOD BLESS THEM!!!!
i jux can't stop hateing "HIM"...
he dun know wat i wan he dun understand mii at all...
he scold mii for nth...i really did nth wrong lo...
*crying* toopix...
im waiting for e day tat i can leave tis house...
i can't take it le really...
GOD help mii tell mii wat to do
give mii e strength to be strong...
im praying hard...
gtg le resting now...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
5:25 PM
did nt post ytd cos i was so tired after work...
haix this few days my mood was nt very good...im very sad...
i forced myself to slp ytd but till 4 i still haven slp...
jux dun know y...i jux feel like crying every nite....
i start to think about what happened last few days n wat will happen e next few week then tears started rolling out from my eyes...mi always messed up things myself and made life hard for myself ??haix...
i feel so "toopix" n "useless" now...
but my mood now is better after chatting wif theng ong....he told mii alot of things...
n he oso told mii to read pslam 23 so i when to read it..n is really meaningfu...
he say after he read it he understand why God had all these not so happy things for him
cos GOD had send him a test to c whether he is still obeying to him and faithful to him...
so now i think i understand why GOD had all these not so happy things for me
as wat theng ong say maybe GOD is also sending mii the test of obidence and faith...
haiz...i think so bah..so i think i should
"LET GO AND LET GOD"
take control..
Do not be anxious about anything.but in everything,by prayer and petition,with thanksgiving,present your requests to God.And in peace of God ,which transcends all understanding,will guard your hearts and minds in Chirst Jesus.Philippians 4:6,7
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.Psalm 34:18
ya anyway thank to theng ong...he let mii undstand alot of things after knowing his story n how GOD comfort him n how GOD answered his prayer.
now i really feel better le...THANKS alot..hope i can slp earlier 2nite and go to my dream lalaland to c him..=)
i should stop here le...
tc guy...=)
guy rmb to
"LET GO AND LET GOD"
he will have a better plan for us...=)
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
2:46 AM
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
im tried!!! went swimmin wif ying si n ping hui jux now... sad cos i dun know how to swim...=(
n i oso can't stay in e water for too long...my leg will pain(cramp)...hahas i old le la so will like tat..hahas
sian...so many thing going on now...n then "N" lvl is oso coming...haiyo...after tat we r leaving e school...wow so fast...but i still dun have e mood to study...hai..
kkk...will start studying from now...must really stop dreaming le...hahas...
after "swimmin" was really tired...aiyo..now im going to rest le tml still gt work...
im really sorry...i can't accept wat tis happening now
let us jux
"LET GO AND LET GOD"
god will have a better plan for us...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
9:30 PM
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
FORVEVR
how can it be true
how can it be real
how can u fall for someone in just a moment of time
i must be dreaming and this dream should never die
baby u, show me forever
and it's love.
i feel the warmth on your lips
i am lost inside ur breathe
i can reach the stars
believe in angels that fly
if i can't have u near
my whole world's around u
like the stars would shine, forever
i feel the warmth on your lips
i am lost inside ur breathe
i can reach the stars
believe in angels that fly
i found the taste of sorrow
if i can't have u near
my whole world's around u
like the stars would shine, forever
(baby) u can be surei
'll always be here
u had me believed in love when u whipered into my heart
i'll be ur only and u'll be the only light
baby u, show me forever
and it's love
a song for a show call Green Forest My Home(lu kuang sen lin)...
tis song is really meaning full...n is nice...
click here to listen to e song
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
3:29 PM
Monday, September 04, 2006
it was a dream was really jux a dream....
y it can't be real....hai...felling so useless now...
Life is something so precious that only God knows how. I didnt know a life could be so broken even when u give all your love and time yet it could be taken away just like that.....
Treasure your loved ones dun regret when they r gone...
"LET GO & LET GOD"
i wish i can let go...n 4get everything...
but those word r still in my mind...i can't 4get...
she have everything she wan but i dun have...
now she is taking almost eveything i have..y? why is she doing tis to mii...
even my luv one have leave mii n going after her...how could she do tis to mii...
ok...i noe le maybe she is better...
killing mii inside....
crying inside...
45min to cherx b.DAy wanna to wish her HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
all e best....GOD BLESS YOU....
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
11:15 PM
haiz...really nth to say...gt no mood to do anything....feeling helpless,useless now.....
im still think y they wanna hide it from mii...y they dun wanna tell mii...
mi think too much or wat...haiz..
today did nt go study...stay at home e whole day doing nth...i wanna to slp e whole day de but nv...wake up at 2...then every one was nt at home...onli my father...sian...
wanna go out walk walk de but on1 is free to pei mii some is working some going out wif friend...
so i stay at home do nth feeling so alone...
tml having "N" level chinese paper n English listening...
haix..so fast...gt no mood to take those paper...
every1 should nt because of one tree n give up on e whole forest....
is e same as dun because of one person n give up everything...
every1 should go on wif thire life should on stop n wait,so as u...
i dream of "u" last nite...we were so happy tgt..
then somthing jux wake mii up...
then e dream was gone.."u" r gone too...
how i wish my dream can continue...
or maybe i can slp 4ever n nt wake up...
hope i can live and be strong.....
if "u" r really gone oneday....
tml have to wake up at 6.15 then meet ping hui at 7 go school...i should try to go to slp now...if nt tml can't wake up....nite nite ppl...
killing mii inside....
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
2:15 AM
Sunday, September 03, 2006
wake up at 11 cos of a call from my grandma...then when back to slp,slp till 2 then wake up...was really tried ytd slp at 5++am after watching VCD....i have finish watching Green forest my home(綠光森林)e show was really nice...i finish watchig it in 3day...now watching a new show call bump off lover(ai shia 17)...
i still gt alot of show wanna watch aiyo but gt no time...
haix...im tired now...slp soon...tml then continue watching...=)
im tired of everything le...im scared, scared tat i will be alone again i dun wanna to be alone...i dun wan really dun wan...
"someone will somehow came in to my life n say tat he will always be there 4 mii no matter wat...but when i need him he is leaveing..."maybe we r from a different world...so we should nt be tgt...
hu will understand mii...
can u feel e beat of my heart....
it may jux stop any time...
"killing mii inside"
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
2:30 AM
Saturday, September 02, 2006
jus came back work...nth happen mush to day...wake up at 10 then when back to slp again then wake up at 12.30....mun wake mii up she say they r going out le ask mii wanna go mah then i dun wan later gt work...then i stay at hm watch my VCD...watch till 4.30 then go bath then 5++ went to work...reach hm 1.30 cos went supper wif my boss...now im here posting...im still very lost...still gt no mood...do know wat to do...haix nth to say le..
dun think i will slp early...wanna go watch my VCD le...have to finish watching e VCD by sunday...cos have to pass it to my boss on monday...haix...
"I'm going to try to speak the words that my heart wants you to know I want you to see what you mean to me and why I love you so. Nobody else can know my thoughts and touch my soul like you can No one can melt my heart like you do simply by holding my hand. With a loving glance or a tender kiss you make my cares disappear Warm thoughts of you surround me and always keep you near. I need nothing more from you than this- to know that you'll always be mine And the promise of your love in my life- until the end of time...."
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
2:20 AM
Friday, September 01, 2006
now is arealdy 3am..i still can't slp i jux finish watching my part 1 VCD...was tired now jux now gt work...oOo ya now is 1st sep le...wanna say to all teacher a HAPPY TAECHER DAY!!!!
haix...im sad...i was really really heartbroken when i oven hear wat u all say...
i dun know y u all wanna hide it from mii...jux tell mii i "dun mind" if u n him were tgt be4 or very close...but y u dun wanna let mii know u say be4 u n him were onli friend but nth..if u n him were really nth then y r u scared to let n know...ok mayb u think tat i will be sad n heartbronken if i know but don't u think i will be even sad n heartbroken if i found out myself...i think u know tat i luv him alot...so dun wanna tell mii n dun wanna to heart mii mi rite??but im always e last one to know wat happen between him n e other ger...y,y,y?? y can't u all let mii know y can't u all tell mii...pls dun hide it from mii...i wan to know i dun wan to be e last one to know every thing...it were hurt mii even more...i dun wanna be like a fool...
i tot i have forget him but y mi so sad n heartbroken when i hear wat they say...
i dun wanna care wat they say but e word jux enetered my heart...
can u feel e beat of my heart....
u can't!!! it melted...it hurt alot...
asking myself : do i still have feeling for HIM???
: wat kind of feeling is tat???
i dun know i really dun know....maybe im nt readly for relationship...
i wish i could follow my heart...
but i can't even tell hu is e real person in my heart...
i dun know is "u" or is "him"
i wish was "u" but now "u" seen to leave mii as day n time go by...
ok fine...i know tat u will leave mii 1day u will find some1 better then mii...
maybe u will even hate mii...cos im wasting ur time n u spend alot on mii too...
i told u before im bad i will onli hurt ppl around mii n keep creating problems for them...
so im fine if u hate mii...but u are still my friend...
my dream will always stay so sweet...but is always jux a dream ,a dream tat will nv comw true...
haix..nvm im ok im fine if one day u really leave mii...i will bless u...n will oso pray tat u can find ur true luv...
"wat ever we do we should look straight, don look back..."
"LET GO AND LET GOD"
going to slp le...tml i mean later still gt work...tried le!!!nite nite ppl tc...
should i miss u or should i try to 4get u now...
"broken dreamsa shattered hearta lonely soul"
YYY ::相爱到最后 我们变成朋友.
sHe lived wiTh hOpe wHen yOu PROMISE
3:05 AM
